Txt Teror
by sg1psychopath
Summary: Jonas has a slight problem with his mobile phone. CHAPTER 8 UP NOW!!! PLEASE REVIEW.
1. Chapter 1

Txt Teror  
  
Jonas arrived back on base after going on a date with Lt. Rush. He was on his way to his quarters when something started to vibrate in his left hand pocket. He recalled that he hadn't turned his mobile off after his date. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. There was a small envelope icon up in the corner. He pressed read and read the message. What was written confused him completely.  
  
Mst mt agn sm tm.  
  
He looked confused. He recalled something Jack was saying about learning to read text language. He wished he had taken the advice. Suddenly the phone vibrated again. He had another message. When he looked at it he seemed equally confused.  
  
Jk gve me ure no. & sd tht I cld txt u. D u wanna mt up sumtm? I rely wanna mt u!! txt bk, Cas  
  
Well that was really strange. Instead of heading towards his quarters as he intended to, he headed towards Sam's lab. He walked in the door to a very confused looking Sam.  
  
"Hi Jonas, what's up?"  
  
"Well, I know it sounds a bit stupid, but could you tell me what this means? People keep sending me text messages and I have no idea what any of them mean. I've only had this phone for 2 days and I'm finding it harder to understand that some of the Goa'uld writing!"  
  
"It's quite simple. Let me have a look at the messages."  
  
Jonas handed his phone over to Sam.  
  
"Well, the first one says 'must meet again some time'. Wow Jonas, did you actually manage to get a date with Lt. Rush?"  
  
"Um, yeah, should I reply?"  
  
"Not yet, wait for a couple of hours then come to me and I'll help you write it in proper text language!"  
  
"Ok, what about this next one?"  
  
Sam immediately recognised the number to be Cassie's.  
  
"Wow, Cassie's got your number already? That was quick."  
  
"Well, what does it say?"  
  
"It says, 'Jack gave me your number and said that I could text you. Do you want to meet up sometime? I really want to meet you. Text back. Cas'."  
  
"Should I text back to her?"  
  
"Yes, that might be a good idea. She gets rather moody if you don't."  
  
"Ok then, could I have some help please?"  
  
"Yes, course, what do you want to write?"  
  
"Um, 'I would love to meet you too, although I'm not sure when I can. I will have to find out when we have a gap in missions. I don't know where to meet you either but we'll sort something out. Jonas'."  
  
"Right."  
  
Sam started typing things into the phone. The end result was:  
  
I wld lv 2 mt u 2, thow not sure wn I can. Wil hve 2 fnd out wn we ave gap in misons. Don't know wer 2 mt u so wel sort summat out, Jonas.  
  
"Wow, that shortens it considerably."  
  
"That is the whole idea of it."  
  
"Thank you for the help Sam."  
  
"No problem, come back if you need anything else."  
  
"Don't worry, I will."  
  
"I suggest that we don't tell anyone about this. You'll be the laughing stock of the SGC if you do. Don't forget about Rush!"  
  
"Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of doing either of them!"  
  
"Good!"  
  
Jonas walked out leaving a chuckling Sam behind him. 


	2. Chapter 2

Txt Teror Pt 2  
  
Author's Notes: Well, I settled for 9 reviews, and started writing, lucky people out there that I'm feeling in a good mood. Lets see what I can come up with now.  
  
Sam was sat in her lab watering her plants when she saw Jonas walk in the door.  
  
"Hi Jonas."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"What can I do for you today?"  
  
"Um, can you help me reply to Lt Rush?"  
  
"Yeh, course, what do you want to say?"  
  
"Will Friday night be OK, because that's the first night I don't have a mission?"  
  
"That sounds all right."  
  
Sam started typing on the phone.  
  
Wll fri nght b k cus thts fst nght I dnt av a mishon?  
  
"There you go."  
  
Sam handed the phone to Jonas. He pressed the send button.  
  
"Now, Cassie replied again."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"I've no idea."  
  
"Come here."  
  
Jonas handed back the phone.  
  
K, jst txt me wen u av a gap. Cu. Cas  
  
"She says, ok, just text me when you have a gap. See you. Cas."  
  
"Ok then. Can you write that I think I'm free on Saturday, and that I'll pick her up at her house at 10am, I'm looking forward to meeting her. What we do will be a surprise."  
  
"That's long, but it should fit."  
  
Thk im fre sat, pick u up @ urs 10am. Lkin fwd 2 meetin u, wot we do will b suprise.  
  
"Right, shall I send it?"  
  
"Yes, go ahead."  
  
"Jonas, do you want to go get some lunch?"  
  
"OK, I am feeling hungry."  
  
"Jonas, you're always hungry!" 


	3. Chapter 3

Here you go people, the next chapter. Sorry I've been so long. Exams!  
  
Sam and Jonas were sat in the comissionary when Jonas's phone beeped.  
  
"It amazes me how the phones get signal down here."  
  
"There is a router so that you can get signal. I won't go in to details."  
  
Jonas got his phone out. He had another message. He opened it up.  
  
"What's it say?"  
  
"I've no idea!"  
  
"Just say it how it's written."  
  
"Tht wll b gr8, lookin fwd 2 it gr8ly. Cu. Cas."  
  
"Um, let me have a look."  
  
"That will be great, looking forward to it greatly. See you, Cas."  
  
"Wow, it still amazes me how you can read that sort of thing."  
  
"It takes practice. You'll learn in no time when you've met Cassie."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
"I do."  
  
"So, when do you think Becky will get back to me?"  
  
"Becky?"  
  
"Oh, sorry, Lt Rush."  
  
"I've no idea Jonas."  
  
"Oh well."  
  
"If you need any more help, just say."  
  
"Don't worry, I will." 


	4. Chapter 4

The 4th Instalment of Txt Teror, I am going as quickly as I can but I have other fics on the go and have study leave and exams so if it still takes me a while, you know why.  
  
Jonas was sat in his room thinking. Becky had replied to him and said that the time was perfect and she'd see him then. He was really getting the hang of the text reading, as he didn't even have to ask Sam what the reply said.  
  
It was Friday and Jonas was sat wondering what to wear. He finally decided on smart casual. He just hoped that Becky would have the same thoughts. Even though he had decided this he didn't know what to wear. He decided to go ask Sam for help.  
  
Jonas knocked on the door of Sam's lab. An unfamiliar voice called out for him to enter.  
  
"Hi, is Sam here?"  
  
"No, I'm afraid not."  
  
"Do you know where she is?"  
  
"Try the control room, she might be doing some tests on the 'gate."  
  
"Thanks, I'll do that."  
  
Jonas walked back out of the lab and wandered into the lift. He punched the button for level twenty-eight.  
  
He was daydreaming and didn't notice when Jack walked into the lift.  
  
"Hi Jonas."  
  
"."  
  
"Jonas?"  
  
"."  
  
"Jonas, wakey wakey."  
  
Jack waved a hand in front of Jonas's face. This finally caught his attention.  
  
"Oh.hi Jack."  
  
"Nice dreams?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You were daydreaming."  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
"No problem. Where you off to?"  
  
"Control room, apparently Sam's there."  
  
"Did you try her lab?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"She probably is in the control room then."  
  
The lift stopped at level twenty-eight but Jonas didn't seem to notice.  
  
"Jonas, we're here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Jonas walked out of the lift, followed by Jack.  
  
"What did you need Sam for anyway?"  
  
"Stuff."  
  
"Stuff?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Care to elaborate?"  
  
"No."  
  
"OK then, I'll just ask her."  
  
"She won't tell you."  
  
"She will if I order her to."  
  
Jonas paled.  
  
"Come on, we're friends, you can tell me."  
  
"Well, I have a date with Becky and I don't know what to wear."  
  
"Is that all, and who's Becky?"  
  
"Oops, sorry, Lt Rush."  
  
"Right."  
  
Jack smiled.  
  
"You know, I'm quite good at the clothes thing too."  
  
"Well you can both help me then."  
  
They walked in silence till they came to the control room. There was nobody there except from Siler.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"Yes, we were wondering where Major Carter is."  
  
Siler paled.  
  
"She's down there Sir, but I don't think she's in the right mood to see you right now."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"See for yourself."  
  
He pointed down into the 'gate room. The sight that met there eyes looked stunning. Sam was the only woman in the room and she was shouting at about ten male technicians.  
  
"Is there any possibility we could hear what's going on?"  
  
Siler typed something into the computer, turned the sound down then turned the sound on.  
  
".Earth do you manage to make such a mess of things? There are ten of you for crying out loud, and not one of you can do such a simple thing as this? I think even colonel O'Neill could do this it's so easy."  
  
All of the scientists visibly cringed as Sam said those words. One of them took a glance up into the control room.  
  
"Excuse me? I'm talking, DON'T ignore me."  
  
Sam followed his line of sight up to the control room.  
  
"In fact, there is the Colonel, lets find out whether he really can fix this."  
  
Sam waved to the pair to go down. They gulped and started for the stairs.  
  
"Good luck Sirs."  
  
"Thank you Sergeant."  
  
The pair appeared in the 'gate room.  
  
"Colonel, this bunch of no brains can't seem to figure out what's wrong with the 'gate. It's a training exercise. I wonder whether you could be as so kind as to tell them."  
  
"Umm.of course."  
  
He looked around the 'gate room, noticing nothing wrong. An idea came to him. His Major sure as hell could be devious sometimes.  
  
He went over to the power box and opened it. Sure enough, inside, the power switch was set to off. He smiled then pulled the switch.  
  
The 'gate hummed slightly then all the lights saying that everything was operational came on.  
  
"Very good Colonel."  
  
"But that's not fair."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said it's not fair."  
  
"First., NEVER speak to a commanding officer like that, second, ALWAYS go for the easiest option first."  
  
The whole group jumped when she shouted the two words as she started speaking quite normally.  
  
"Now get your asses out of here so I can have some peace."  
  
"Yes Ma'am."  
  
The ten trainee technicians chorused then marched out of the 'gate room.  
  
"Trainee trouble Major?"  
  
"Yes Sir, I don't think any of them will make it into the SGC. It's becoming increasingly difficult to find decent technicians. I think Siler is the best we've got."  
  
He blushed up in the control room.  
  
"Now were you here for a reason?"  
  
"Um yes."  
  
"Jonas needs some help on finding something to wear for his date."  
  
"Oh wow, she said yes then!"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"AND you managed to read her message."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Excuse me, what are you going on about?"  
  
"I'll tell you later Sir. First of all, shopping."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yes now, we'll just tell Hammond then get out of here."  
  
The group walked up to the control room. Sam nodded at Siler. He nodded back, still slightly red. They climbed the stairs to the briefing room then walked into Hammond's office area. Sam knocked on the door.  
  
"Enter."  
  
The group went in.  
  
"What can I do for you?"  
  
"We were wondering whether we could have the rest of the day off, as there is nobody off world."  
  
"What do you intend to do?"  
  
"Well, Jonas needs something to wear for his date."  
  
Jonas blushed.  
  
"Ah, of course, go ahead."  
  
"Thank you Sir."  
  
The group left. Hammond smiled. 


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone, THANKYOU for the reviews, they are very much appreciated. Sorry to Paula, my beta, I seem to not be sending you these! Probably because I am trying to put them up as fast as possible so hoards of people wanting more don't drown me. If you spot a mistake, tell me and I'll get it betad. Well, on with the story.  
  
SG-1 had picked up Teal'C on their way into the shopping mall. They stood around the entranceway to the mall. Jonas, having never been to one before, was staring around in awe.  
  
"Come on Jonas, we need to get you some clothes and get you back, we don't want you to be late for your date!"  
  
"Wow, good rhyme Carter."  
  
"Thank you Sir."  
  
"Ah, remember, it's Jack outside of work!"  
  
"Yes S.Jack."  
  
They all laughed.  
  
"Where do we start?"  
  
"Just remember Carter, this trip is for Jonas, not you!"  
  
"I am perfectly aware of that S.Jack."  
  
It was no secret that Sam liked shopping. She wasn't as bad as most women, but she still liked it.  
  
"That looks like a good shop over there."  
  
"Over there we go!"  
  
SG-1 walked into the shop. People looked strangely at Teal'C for a minute because he didn't take his hat off as he entered. He glared back at them and they didn't take it any further.  
  
"Can I help you Sirs, Madam?"  
  
"Um, yes please, we're looking for something for Jonas here to wear."  
  
"Smart casual."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Walk right this way, we have a large selection of smart but casual clothes."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"I will be back soon, if you spot anything you like."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
They wandered around the part of the shop for a minute.  
  
"See anything you like Jonas?"  
  
"Not in here, nothing looks.right."  
  
"I'll agree with you there. It looks too smart to be casual."  
  
The shop assistant came back.  
  
"Have you found anything that takes your fancy?"  
  
"I'm afraid not."  
  
"That is OK, have a nice day."  
  
SG-1 found themselves stood outside the shop.  
  
"Well that was weird."  
  
"That isn't like all shops here then?"  
  
"No, most are much nicer."  
  
"Well, on to the next one." 


	6. Chapter 6

Here we go everybody, another chapter! I thought I'd give Jonas a rest for this chapter! As always thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the teeny bit of Sam and Jack ship, I just can't keep away from it! Sorry it took so long to upload, I've been really busy and my muse stopped!  
  
Sam and Jack walked into the next shop followed by Jonas.  
  
"Wow, they look nice."  
  
Jonas pointed to a pair of beige pants.  
  
"They are, what size are you?"  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
"Well then."  
  
Sam handed him a several pairs and sent him into the changing rooms.  
  
He came out a few minutes later with them on.  
  
They were perfect. They were just long enough, and fitted perfectly, hugging his figure where they should but fitting loosely where they were meant to.  
  
"They look really good on you Jonas."  
  
"Really."  
  
He looked down at himself.  
  
"I suppose they are nice."  
  
"Those are the ones for you."  
  
Jonas got out his money and went and paid.  
  
"On to the next shop."  
  
They walked around the shopping centre going in and out of shops. Since the pants they had no luck.  
  
They were walking along talking when Sam suddenly stopped.  
  
"What is it Carter?"  
  
She didn't reply. She was staring through a shop window at a dress. It was a deep blue, and very simple.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
He followed her line of site.  
  
"Ahh."  
  
Sam awoke from her daze.  
  
"That dress has got to be one of the nicest that I have ever seen."  
  
"Carter, we're not shopping for you, we're shopping for Jonas."  
  
"I know, but I have to have that dress."  
  
"I didn't see you as a dressy person Carter."  
  
"I'm not normally, but that is the."  
  
"Nicest dress you've ever seen, we know."  
  
"Jonas, do you mind if I go try it on and perhaps buy it?"  
  
"No, I don't mind at all, it'll be good to have a break for a moment."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
They followed Sam into the shop.  
  
"Hello, how may I help you?"  
  
"Hi, I was wondering whether I could try that dress on?"  
  
She pointed towards the window.  
  
"Excellent choice. Of course walk this way."  
  
Sam appeared out of the changing rooms wearing the dress.  
  
"So, what do you think?"  
  
Jonas and Jack just stood staring. The dress fitted her perfectly, showing off her slim body.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Wow indeed."  
  
"I'll get it then."  
  
She walked back into the changing rooms.  
  
Sam walked over to the counter and bought her purchase.  
  
"Can we go get some lunch before we do any more shopping?"  
  
"Yep, of course." 


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the long delay. I had work experience, then I wasn't feeling too great, now I have lots of coursework to do so am having to find time to do things like write fic, and somewhere in that I think I neglected to feed my muse. She's still alive, and we're friends again, so more fic! Thanks so much for all those people that have sent feedback. I would reply individually, but that would mean less writing time, so THANKYOU!  
  
Jack, Sam and Jonas sat down in the little restaurant. They picked up a menu each from the table in front of them.  
  
"This looks nice."  
  
Sam pointed towards a pasta salad.  
  
"Carter, Sam, you're always eating so healthily."  
  
"Your point?"  
  
"No point, just stating one."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"You having that then?"  
  
"I think I will S.Jack."  
  
"Jonas?"  
  
"I'll have the same."  
  
"'Fraid I'm going for the steak and chips."  
  
"You would."  
  
A waiter walked over to their table.  
  
"Hi, are you ready to order?"  
  
"Yes thanks, we'll have to pasta salads and a steak and chips please."  
  
"Ok, that will be with you shortly, what drinks would you like?"  
  
"I'll have a diet soda."  
  
"Same here."  
  
"I'll have a beer please."  
  
"Those will be with you soon. Anything else?"  
  
"No, that's it thanks."  
  
The waiter moved away and left SG-1 again.  
  
"So Jonas, see anything you like the look of yet?"  
  
"No, I'm getting bored of shopping too."  
  
"Yeh, so am I."  
  
"And me."  
  
"Carter, I thought you liked shopping."  
  
"Sometimes, I don't like it for this long though. We're going to have to find something soon though because we have to get Jonas back."  
  
"Right."  
  
The waiter came back carrying the food and drinks.  
  
SG-1 started eating as soon as he went away.  
  
"We will find something, if not, we'll go home and raid Jonas's wardrobe, because I'm sure he has something nice."  
  
"Not that nice, I haven't been here long enough."  
  
Beep Beep.  
  
"Jonas?"  
  
"Oh, phone, right."  
  
He got the object out of his pocket.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"It's Becky, she says, well, I can't tell what she says."  
  
"Come here."  
  
Rly lookn fwd 2 2nite,we r stl on right?pls txt bk,bec  
  
"Ooh, that was cryptic."  
  
"What's it say?"  
  
"Really looking forward to tonight, we are still on right? Please text back, bec."  
  
"Ooh, I have to text back."  
  
Jonas took the phone back off Sam and started clicking away at the keypad. Sam and Jack just sat and finished their dinner, watching Jonas eat and text at the same time. The result was him missing his mouth occasionally and feeding his chin.  
  
"Jonas, pay more attention, there's people staring at you."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're feeding your chin."  
  
Jonas looked down at himself.  
  
"Oh."  
  
He wiped himself down then went back to what he was doing.  
  
Sam and Jack shook their heads. 


	8. Chapter 8

Here's the last chapter of this fic you're going to get from me. Please see the next chapter (author's note) for more details. I also left Teal'C out, I forgot about him, lol, think of it as he was called back to the base!  
  
Sam, Jack and Jonas walked out of the restaurant. They were all fed up of shopping and it was getting very near the time for Jonas' date.  
  
"I vote we go back and raid Jonas' wardrobe, there's got to be something in there that he can wear."  
  
"If not he could always borrow something off of you S.Jack."  
  
"Well, I suppose that is a possibility. What do you think Jonas?"  
  
"Yeh fine, as long as I have something to wear I don't really mind."  
  
SG-1 wandered out of the shopping centre into the car park. They all jumped into Jack's truck and drove back to the base.  
  
They went to Jonas' quarters and Sam immediately headed for where his clothes were stored.  
  
She frowned as she took in the brightly coloured shirts and T-Shirts.  
  
"Jonas, are you telling me you have no plain shirts at all?"  
  
He nodded reluctantly.  
  
"Jack, I'm afraid this is going to result in a trip to your house."  
  
"OK."  
  
"We better be quick, I want to have time to get ready."  
  
They called into Jack's house. Sam ended up picking Jonas out a plain black T-shirt. They went back to the base and helped Jonas get ready. 


	9. Author's Notes

Hi everyone, this is just an author's note to say I'm really sorry about the no updates. I have a few ideas for the fic but I don't know how to put them together. I also have lots of GCSE coursework, revision etc to do, and I have to many ongoing fics. I will try to write but it won't be as good, so if any of you out there want to take this fic over from me, please e- mail me.  
  
Well, there we go, I said it. Sorry everyone  
  
~Psycho~ 


End file.
